I have always had an ‘inner bastard’, but doing standup has made it worse
As a comedian, you are often subject to criticism: partly because comedy is so subjective and partly because social media means that any idiot with an internet connection has a direct line to you. Sometimes, the criticism can be imaginative as well as insulting, but most of the time it’s stuff like: “So you’re supposed to be a comedian?” or: “You’re about as funny as herpes,” or: “I hope you die in a fire.”
I don’t mind any of this, really; it’s part and parcel of a job in the public eye. (At the same time, to be clear, I think all of these people are scum.) What I do object to is my inner voice – my harshest critic, and impossible to turn off. I like to be fairly relaxed about my work – in fact, in my life, I consider myself a member of the church of “passionate indifference”. And yet the inner bastard is ever present.