Recent appearances have fed a #savemelania movement. But the idea that the first lady is Trump’s most defiant rebel is magical thinking of the highest order
While King of the Snowflakes Donald Trump has always worn his heart on his sleeve, with his phallically long ties and neurotically overstyled hair, his third wife, Melania, gives away as much as the blankest of fashion models – which, of course, is what she was when they met.
And what a love story it has been for the woman born Melanija Knavs since then! You know, just the classic tale: boy picks up girl when he is on a date with another girl with the unforgettable name of Celina Midelfart; boy starts dating new girl and gets her to boast about his virility on live radio with Howard Stern; boy was married twice before, with his first ex-wife saying in a sworn deposition that the boy allegedly raped her after surgery to reduce a bald spot was more painful than he expected (though she later said she didn’t mean rape in a “literal or criminal sense”, even if “as a woman I felt violated”); girl and boy get married in front of 350 close friends, including Simon Cowell and Rudy Giuliani; boy runs for president and gets girl to give a speech which turns out to be plagiarised so girl is internationally humiliated; boy is then revealed to be fond of grabbing pussies that belong to other girls, meaning girl is further humiliated; boy becomes president and girl has never looked more miserable – and that is, by now, a high bar. Someone book Kate Hudson: we got a timeless romcom here.